You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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