I hope my margaritas pass through security.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
