DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
We left the knife in your bed.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
