names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
