i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
