Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
