All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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