So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
