Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
