I think I am morally bankrupt
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
