I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
