whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
farters have to be the big spoon...
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I am never drinking with the goths again.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
