i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
