My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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