once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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