shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
