Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
