he shaved USA in his pubs
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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