If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
