we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
