Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
