i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
