I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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