apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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