When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize
