i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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