I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
