its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
