I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
