She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
home. puking in laundry basket.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
