If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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