so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
