and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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