ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
3pm strippers are depressing
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
