I'm drive I can fine osifer
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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