I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
