oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
You left your underwear on the fireplace
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
