Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I deserve this hangover.
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