oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
i love accidental penises.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
