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After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Randomize
