i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
