If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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