i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
