I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Randomize
