What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
