But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize