I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
