Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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