How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
