she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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