the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
