Bisexual people are plain selfish.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
